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Used to send the same first message to everyone - big mistake
I used to just copy-paste the same generic opener to every match, thinking it saved time. But after getting zero responses for two weeks straight in February, I changed my approach. Now I spend 30 seconds looking at their profile and ask about one specific thing, like their trip to Asheville or that weird plant in their photo. It takes a bit longer but my reply rate went from like 5% to 40% almost overnight. Anyone else found that custom messages actually work way better than the old copy-paste method?
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leo_black7613d ago
The 30 second rule is key but I'd add one thing... actually read their whole profile not just the photos. I was missing stuff like "I'm a vegetarian" or "looking for someone who loves hiking" and my messages still fell flat. Once I started mentioning something from their bio plus one photo detail it bumped my rate even higher to around 60%. Also timing matters a lot... sending a custom message on a Sunday evening when people are bored and scrolling gets way more attention than a Friday night when they're out living their life. The whole copy-paste thing is dead though... people can smell a generic message from a mile away now.
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corap2114d ago
My neighbor's son runs a local coffee shop and he noticed the same pattern with his customers. He used to just say "what can I get for you" to everyone, but now he actually looks at what they're wearing or what book they're reading and comments on it. People tip way more and they come back more often. It's funny how that little bit of effort in connecting with someone makes such a huge difference. We all want to feel like someone actually sees us and not just that we're another number in line or another face on a screen.
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Read something similar in a psychology book about mirror neurons and connection.
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