A client said my onboarding emails read like a robot wrote them, so I rewrote all 14 of them

Gavin Fox · 2026-10-26T13:55:03.678004+00:00

We signed a $2,400 a month retainer with a logistics firm in March and their ops lead called me after week one. She said the welcome sequence felt cold and that her team stopped opening them by day 3. I had been writing them in a hurry, all formal and stiff, like a press release. I rewrote each one to sound like a normal email from a person, first names, short sentences, one clear ask per message. Open rate went from 22% to 51% in a month. Now I read every client facing email out loud before it goes out. Curious if anyone else has a test they run before hitting send?

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A client said my onboarding emails read like a robot wrote them, so I rewrote all 14 of them | B2b Services - Free To Speak