Heard someone at the library say book club debates are just book reports with arguments

I was browsing the stacks last Saturday and overheard this guy tell his friend that book club debates are just book reports where people argue about meaning. It made me realize I've been treating our group like we're grading each other instead of actually discussing what we read. Now I try to bring in one weird detail from the book that nobody noticed, like how many times a character uses a certain word. Has anyone else tried shifting their group away from arguing about who's right?

3 comments

3 Comments

the_drew14d ago

That thing about counting how many times a character uses a certain word is actually genius. I've noticed this same pattern plays out everywhere, not just in book clubs. Like people at work turn every team meeting into a debate about whose solution is best instead of just asking "what if we tried something dumb and see where it goes?" Or even at family dinners where someone brings up a movie and suddenly it's about who remembered the plot right. I think we're all trained from school to treat every discussion like there's a right answer and a wrong answer. But the best conversations I've had were the ones where nobody was trying to win anything. Its like people forget that sharing a weird observation can open up a whole new way of seeing something.

kim.nina14d ago

Wait, is it really school that trained us to be like that though? I mean @gavin469 made a solid point about it for sure, but I think part of it is just human nature too. Like even before school, kids argue about whose toy is better or who got the bigger cookie. That competitive drive is kinda built in, not just something they teach us in math class. But you're right that school probably makes it worse by giving us grades and pointing out who's right and wrong. I'd bet the best chats happen when people drop that whole "I gotta win" mindset and just explore stuff together without keeping score.

gavin46914d ago

School really did mess us up with that whole "right answer" thing. It's like people can't just sit with an idea without immediately trying to prove something. The best chats I've had were the ones where nobody felt the need to be the smartest person in the room. Just throwing out thoughts, letting them land wherever they land. Winning an argument usually just means you missed the point anyway.