Hit 12 years of no contact with my mom last Tuesday and felt nothing

I kept waiting for the big emotional moment or some kind of relief. But it was just a Tuesday. I made coffee, went to work, came home. The only reason I even noticed the date was my calendar reminder. After all that drama and guilt tripping from relatives about 'but she's your mother', the milestone felt strangely empty. Has anyone else built up a milestone in your head and then when it came, it just didn't hit the way you expected?

3 comments

3 Comments

shane_park929d ago

Man, that reminds me of a buddy who prepped himself for a big cry over his dad's grave and just stood there bored.

emmam899d ago

Right, "stood there bored" is exactly it. It's like you spend all this energy building up a moment in your head and the real thing just feels flat. @shane_park92 I notice this happens with a lot of big life events, actually. People put so much pressure on a single moment to be this huge emotional release, and when it's just quiet and normal, it throws you off.

karenb979d ago

Nah, I gotta push back on this one a little, @shane_park92. I mean, I get what you're saying, but maybe it's just me, idk. I think the whole point of standing at a grave isn't to have some big movie moment, it's just to be there, you know? Like, the flatness IS the point sometimes. You're not supposed to perform grief, you're just supposed to carry it around with you, and that can look like standing around bored. Maybe your buddy was just doing it right, actually, and didn't realize it.