A hard conversation with my brother changed my stance on callouts

We were driving through Portland last Tuesday and he said 'you defend people you've never met like they're your own family', which made me pause. He pointed out two cases from this sub, one I thought was justified and one I thought was overkill, and showed me I was using different standards based on who the person was. Has anyone else had a talk with a skeptic that actually made them re-evaluate the line between accountability and pile-on?

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james_bell1mo ago

Was it the person being more likable that made you lean one way, or was it the actual facts of the case that got muddy? Like, when he pointed out those two examples, did you catch yourself defending the person's tone more than their actions? I feel like that's the trap, you read a post and the way someone types just gets under your skin, and suddenly you're judging the whole situation off that vibe instead of what they actually did. What was the one you thought was overkill, was it a case where the person apologized and tried to fix it, but the sub just kept hammering them?

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