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My neighbor's son told me 'you're not special' and I still think about it 4 years later
So I was at a school club fair sophomore year and this kid from the debate team just straight up said to me, 'Your whole personality is just being loud in class. You're not special.' It was so random and specific. Like he saw through the act I was putting up. But part of me thinks he was just being a jerk and I should ignore it. The debate: is that kind of blunt honesty helpful or just mean? Has anyone else had a stranger or acquaintance say something that stuck with you way longer than it should have?
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the_drew2mo ago
Man that kid sounds like a total tool but also... ouch. I had something similar happen in high school where this girl I barely knew told me I laughed too loud and it sounded fake. I still think about it every time I crack up at something dumb. Like congrats you planted a little insecurity seed that bloomed into a full garden of overthinking. But honestly maybe he was just jealous cause you had the guts to be loud and he was probably sweating about debate club tryouts or whatever. We all carry around random hits from strangers way too long.
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morgan_king362mo ago
Well I used to be one of those people who thought honesty was always the best policy no matter what, but this story actually changed my mind a little. There's a big difference between being honest and being cruel, and that kid was just being cruel under the guise of being blunt. You can tell someone they need to work on something without tearing them down, and that kind of targeted attack is more about the person saying it than the person receiving it. Four years later it still stings because it wasn't helpful feedback, it was just someone trying to make themselves feel bigger by making you feel smaller. I think the ones that stick with us are usually the ones that hit a nerve we already had, but that doesn't mean they were right or helpful.
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