Six months ago I messed up bad at a local zoning board meeting in Decatur. I lost my temper and said some things about a neighbor's fence project that were way out of line. At first I tried the public apology route with a formal letter to the group. It felt stiff and rehearsed and nobody really responded. Then last month I got a second chance at another meeting and I just walked up to that neighbor and said "I was wrong and I'm sorry" face to face no notes no speech. The difference was night and day. He actually shook my hand and a few other people came up later saying they respected how I handled it. Has anyone else found that private direct apologies work better than public ones even when the mess up was public?