Had a professor tell me my debate style was 'too aggressive' and it totally changed how I argue now

I was in a political science seminar last semester at UT Austin and we were arguing about campus protest rules. After class this professor pulled me aside and said 'you're not trying to convince anyone, you're just trying to win.' At first I was annoyed but then I realized she was right. I used to interrupt people and talk over them, now I pause and ask 'what makes you say that?' before firing back. Has anyone else gotten feedback that actually made you a better debater?

4 comments

4 Comments

dylan_brown301mo ago

Ever notice how people argue in comment sections the exact same way?

sage_moore371mo agoMost Upvoted

Is it really that serious though? I mean yeah, being told you argue too aggressively is one thing, but I've seen people treat a debate about pizza toppings like it's life or death. I had a friend who went to one of those "argument coach" things and now he can't even talk about what movie to watch without doing some breathing exercise first...

blakestone1mo ago

Doesn't it just hit different when someone tells you something you weren't ready to hear?

alicecraig1mo ago

@dylan_brown30 you hit on something real. Most comment sections are just people waiting for their turn to talk, not actually trying to understand the other person. What stuck with me from that professor is she said arguing to win versus arguing to convince are two totally different skills. One is about making yourself feel right, the other is about actually moving someone's opinion. I noticed once I stopped trying to look smart and started asking real questions, people actually listened back. That changed more than any debate tip I ever got.