TIL my ex's 'always leave the cap off the toothpaste' was really about something else
I used to think she was just messy. Then I caught myself getting annoyed at a new roommate for the same thing and realized I was upset about feeling ignored, not the toothpaste. Anyone else find out a small complaint was hiding a bigger problem?
Learned this one the hard way after my second marriage. Once I started paying attention, I noticed most of the little fights were really about something deeper like feeling unheard or taken for granted. The trick is to stop and ask yourself what would actually fix the feeling underneath the complaint. Usually it's not a new tube of toothpaste.